In 2012, I experienced several separate incidents of sexual harassment at the same time, right after I took the leap to self publish a book and get involved in the comics community.
It all really shook my sense of self and made me question whether creating and sharing was a mistake (it's not a mistake!!!). I couldn’t draw for over a year, which was my whole identity then, and it took me a while to figure out who I am again. While I am still in the process of trusting and finding my place, that was a defining time for me that gave me a lot of wonderful, real friends that I can trust. And taught me to trust myself and my instincts.
What really shocked me is the number of people who continue to hero-worship people they have witnessed abusing others or had been abused by themselves. Drawing lines on paper well, directing movies, having a lot of money, or whatever, does not excuse abusive behavior, and should not be supported or enabled.
I am encouraged by the people who are empowering themselves and speaking out against sexual harassment and abuse. I’m encouraged that people are taking a look at their own current and past behavior and admitting their mistakes. Abuse of power is not just something that men do to women (whatever those two words mean), and these experiences have taught me to be more sensitive to how others want to be seen and heard, to try to avoid accidentally objectifying each other or expecting from others what they don’t want to give. I think it's important to forgive those who are trying to change and to stand up to those who refuse to change.
If I could tell myself one thing five years ago as I was struggling through that experience, when I felt very isolated and questioning myself, I would say that you are absolutely not alone. You are now less alone than you’ve ever been; you are part of an enormous community of people who are genuine, who recognize and support kindness, who are vulnerable and stronger because of it.
I’ve been processing thoughts and working on a comic for years about how those experiences felt. This story may be short but was a huge step in healing, and made me excited about sharing work again. Hearing stories from others’ experiences has been very encouraging and helped me push this story out, so I’d like to share my own in hopes that it will uplift someone who needs to hear it.
